If you needed to find a single lady friend of yours yesterday, chances are she was seeing 50 Shades of Grey. I read the first of the three books, and while yes I had no expectations of a Pulitzer Prize-winning piece of literature, it was a steamy little story that was fun to read. So naturally when I heard it was being turned into a movie, I made a note to pre-order tickets on Fandango. I’d never object to watching a hot, semi-nude Irish lad on the big screen.
But before I go on to write what everyone else has already written about this movie–the cringe-worthy acting and implausibly cheesy one-liners–I have to start with the atmosphere in which my friends and I saw this movie. There’s only one other flick I’ve seen where serious scenes prompted wild laughter from the audience, and that was Twilight, and I was one of the people laughing. Seeing 50 Shades was a hysterical experience; people in every corner of that theatre were cracking up, which then made everyone else laugh even harder. The commentary from the women in back of us was probably better than the on-screen dialogue. If anything, we can all credit 50 Shades for laugh-induced six packs.
And then there was the orchestra of wine bottles clinking; the movie’s true soundtrack. My friends and I had brought our own stash of wine in the form of plastic airplane bottles, but I was not expecting everyone else to be packing–and regular glass bottles, no less! After a while, all you heard was the sound of multiple wine bottles clattering on the floor from every direction. (This was an alcohol-fueled crowd, for sure.) At one point our plastic bottles even tumbled to our feet, but that was just embarrassing.
As far as the movie itself goes, Jamie Dornan was mighty fine eye candy even if his his acting was stiff. Too bad Christian Grey’s character didn’t have an Irish brogue; what a missed opportunity. Dakota Johnson (often confused with Dakota Fanning by this author, lol) was OK as an awkward good girl, but her doe-eyed stares and exaggerated moans made us all want to punch someone. There should have been a
little lot more of Dornan’s skin and a lot less of Johnson being turned on by a simple forearm graze. Let’s be real, people.
The real kicker, however, was that Lindsey and I decided to make a bathroom run right as the movie was ending. That’s how anticlimactic the ending was, we didn’t even know it happened until the ladies room started flooding with people leaving the 4:30 showing! Oops.
Bottom line: 50 Shades was really silly, but very fun to watch. An entire theater filled with people laughing as its absurdity combined with a symphony of wine bottles clattering on the floor was well worth the $16.